I recently read a comment that said “feelings are real but not always accurate”. It seems it is easy for us to get caught up in or carried away by our feelings and the feelings of those around us. Feelings generate an energy that is sometimes pleasant and other times scary as hell.
Yesterday I got a “call” from a friend who is suffering some deep emotional pain resulting from the shattering of her life as she has known it to be. I was having a rather neutral day; in other words, I wasn’t particularly singing for joy but wasn’t deep in despair either. At first, I attempted to ward off the “feelings” with a little humor because I just didn’t want to enter that dark room that contained words like sorrow, suffering, loneliness, forsaken, unloved, depressed…
But I did…and by the time bed time rolled around, my “feelings” were stirred to agitation not conducive to sleep. I tossed and turned and tossed and turned until I felt strangled by my own gown, and tore it off. And still I couldn’t find peace. I counted backwards from 100 like the anesthetist had me do when I was put under a general anesthesia for the birth of my son (it had worked in the past). I did finally fall asleep but I don’t recall what did the job or how long it took.
Sleep is a great way to resolve “feeling” issues because I woke with a fresh outlook. I re-read a post from my friend’s Facebook page that didn’t meet the need the night before, but had a newness to it. And I had a bigger faith for that which my friend is suffering.
For those of us who accept Christianity as our spiritual frame of reference, Christ is our Big Brother, our mentor, our example of HOW to approach the difficult times in our lives. He embraced the events of the last week of His life with a deep faith and trust in the promises of God (Yahweh Rophe or any other name assigned to our Creator). When words like pain and suffering, betrayal, abandonment, forsaken, unloved threaten our peace, we have only to look at His final days.
Jesus was sold out to His enemies for a measly 30 pieces of silver by one of the men He had handpicked to follow His ministry. He was denied as an associate by one who had sat at table with Him just a few hours before. When He asked His three closest friends to stay awake and unite with Him in prayer, given what He was facing, He repeated found them sleeping.
He was arrested alone…beaten to near death alone…forced to carry his own instrument of death alone…and then in His final hours hanging naked on a tree (the most humiliating death a Jew could imagine) to die, the ONLY people there were His mother, an ex prostitute, and His dearest friend, John. And it would be the prostitute who would show her belief in His words, who would run to the tomb three days later while all the others huddled frightened for their own lives, to find the LORD risen! But her words wouldn’t even be considered valid for inclusion in the Christian cannon…but that is another post for another day.
I AM reminded that though my life may feel like a favored coffee mug (or piece of crystal or family heirloom china) fallen and shattered on the floor, irreparable by man, my life is NEVER irreparable to God. He created me the first time, and every time my life has taken a change in direction, He has been there to make it better than it was before. He may not be able to put it back together as it was, but He will make a beautiful piece of art with the possibility of being tremendously more than it was.
So, when “feelings” threaten to overwhelm you with grief and sorrow and pain and suffering, a sense of abandonment and the belief that you are unloved, remember that you will NEVER experience what Jesus went through and He triumphed in His transformation. You may feel like a pile of clay on the floor, useless and unlovely, but God in His immense creativity will recreate your life to be a beautiful piece of art for Him to admire. Your life is destined to bring Him glory and He is vested in completing your task.
“God is at work in you to will and to work for His good pleasure…and He will accomplish what concerns you…sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Hold on, my sisters and brothers…hold on to the hands that stilled the water…
well said, Vonnie!