I opened my blog page just a few short weeks ago (I have slept since then so I may have my time frame off). It seems I don’t remember sequences of events or time frames without documentation anymore. Again this morning I was accused of not moving on something or not doing something pertinent to “his” requirements, and I am rambling because my thoughts are cluttering in my brain.
I feel a headache coming on as the tears roll down my face. I don’t have credentials to write. I don’t seem to have any credentials to live based on the expectations of the people around me. I have a book somewhere on toxic people. I have too many toxic people in my life. I need my “safe” people…my safe person. I know I have at least one. I probably have a lot of them but I have so much poison in my own system, I project it on people who are not invested in my ruin.
I pulled a book from my shelf and because I have the next two days off, I think I may read it. I bought several of Dr. John Townsend’s books when he was here in town years ago for a symposium.

by Dr. John Townsend
I have never been convicted of a crime yet I feel imprisoned like a criminal. Maybe that is why I relate so deeply to Joseph and his stint in Pharaoh’s prison for crimes he did not commit. His first crime…being his father’s favorite son, the first born of his favored wife. That is something over which he has complete control. His second crime…high tailing it out of the boudoir of his boss’s wife when she made inappropriate advances. He goes to prison for that one because the wife’s tearful display and his clothes in her hand were much more convincing to her powerful and probably embarrassed husband than any explanation Joseph could give. His third crime…just plain being forgettable. He befriends two fellow prisoners who get their break to the outside. Joseph simply asks to be remembered when they get out. But he is quickly forgotten and spends a few more years in jail.
Most people Christian and not probably know the story of Joseph. God in is ultimate wisdom and in His impeccable, perfect timing, has the circumstances move in Joseph’s favor so that he is released from prison and the dream that started the whole series of events actually comes to pass. So what does this story have to do with a title of this post “Fear is the mind-killer”?
Fear is the worst kind of prison. Fear locks us into our own little world, keeps us from taking risks, and from fulfilling out full potential. One of my favorite movies is Shawshank Redemption, a story about relationships of a group of men sentenced to prison.

starring Tim Robbins & Morgan Freeman
One man never accepts the bondage and brutality of prison life. Even though he is victimized by it, his heart is inspired by the hope of freedom and the belief that he cannot be imprisoned in heart. His body was in prison and subjected to incredible cruelty but his heart, his spirit yearned for the outside. Like Maya Angelou’s book, he knew why the caged bird sings. His break from a life of fear and intimidation, cruelty and victimization inspired his fellow prisoner not to return to that strangely comfortable prison life to take the risk to pursue freedom.
Just writing this piece, raw and disjointed, lacking in credentials, is my act of defiance of the prison warden in my own head. It is my way of working slowing to scratch out my escape route. I have something to say. I have significance because my Creator bestowed it upon me even before I existed.

based on Frank Herbert's books
When you shove your liberal agenda down the public’s throat, and you condemn those who say anything, isn’t it like social rape? If an assailant attacks you, holding you down, shoves a piece of cloth in your mouth, holds a blade to your throat, and then threatens to use the blade if you protest, how many choices do you have? You risk your very life to free yourself. My goodness people! How far will we let the assailant on our social morality go?